Happy Birthday Mom

Today would be mom's 51st birthday. It bothers me that we didn't celebrate her 50th properly, but one can't change the past. If we could i would keep going back into time so that i could be with her whenever i wanted to. Which is all the time. I wonder if one would celebrate their birthday in heaven? Probably not eh? It's too complicated for me to fathom tonight. If they do though, I imagine it would be like nothing we've ever experienced. You wouldn't feel that "UGH, I'm getting old" feeling. Plus there is no sorrow or fear, so that alone makes it better. I'm angry, that she is not here to celebrate. 51 is young. Man I miss her. More every single day. Still doesn't seem real most days, i dunno if thats because i try not to believe it. I'm tired, and angry, so i will stop here with this. Mom, I miss you more then anyone could ever imagine, because i love you more then words can say. You were the best gift God ever gave me, and i will miss you forever.