Loss

Seems like the year for it. Mom, my niece, my friend's dad, my uncle, and my papa.... Now one of my best friends. Not to death, but situation. Feels like death though, i'll tell you that much. Starting to feel like I cant even deal with all of it, too much in just over a year. I don't trust people like i used to. Don't trust that they won't die on me, or stab me in the back...cuz i couldn't handle the pain of it anymore. I don't like this rock hard person that i'm becoming. sigh. Choose Joy, that's what mom would say. Choose Joy and It will come to you. Hard to choose joy when you are angry. Angry at God, angry at people... Somethings gotta change, and mend this porcelain heart of mine